3/15/12

A legitimate question

And not that I'm expecting all of you (or any) to honestly answer, but I'll put it out there anyway.

A while ago I was having a chat with a lady friend. Let's call her Amanda. Now me and Amanda have known each other for so long that we can be pretty excessively open with our thoughts and opinions. It's a good thing, it means we're open enough to talk about things like when her mother was looking at genital piercings. I let her know that her dad might be getting one soon in order to satisfy his curious wife; and so on and so forth until we came to the following scenario.

Now, I came up with this while talking to a hetero female, so it applies to hetero/bi females and gay males. I'll give the lesbian and hetero male twist after I'm done with the original, so don't worry. You all apply.

You wake up. You're in the arms of prince charming, literally all you physically want in a guy. You smile, of course, because he's looking at your eyes so tenderly. The bed still smells of the amazing sex you had last night, and the comfort of his arms firm around you is the only thing keeping you from drifting to another moment. This is a guy you've been living with for 6 months without things completely falling apart, things are oddly better than you'd expect them to be, too, so you want this to work.


He leans forward, kisses your forehead, and with those tender and hesitant eyes he asks:


"Can I fuck your armpit?"


What the fuck do you say? How do you respond to this? Yes, that IS the question.


NOW, some things you should know that me and Amanda were already aware of:

There are such people who enjoy sticking their dicks in an armpit, and having the arm close on the phallus as they hump away. There are also people who who find armpits so arousing that the sight of them could make them masturbate vigorously until they inseminate it. Think of a money shot. Pit shot. Look this shit up, it's hilarious.

When "prince charming" asks for armpit sex, you don't know which of these two he wants. I want the initial reaction, be it yes, no, depends on my mood, or I'd have to have a talk with him first.

Amanda said it would be as bad as anal sex, so no. I've gotten a few opinions on this matter, asking around, and it really seems like the overall answer is a tie. This means your opinions count.

And for the rest  of you with dickless partners out there, there is indeed a female-on-pit option. Unfortunately, I'm not sure a female could have sex with an armpit in more ways than grinding. I've yet to find proper female armpit fetish videos. If you have some, let me know.


Anyway, pretty much this whole thing gets inverted-  there's the woman of your dreams and you wake up with her in your arms, puppy dog eyeing you right before she asks if she can grind your armpit until she has pleased  herself.

What to fucking do.

Now, you could not answer, which is fine. There's no restrictions as to who reads this blog, and maybe you'll have a job in the future with a boss that has a thing against allowing your partner to fuck your armpit. You could post anonymously! But still I mean, who knows, there's a dozen of these excuses on why not to give your opinion.


For those of you with excuses, can you possibly imagine other ways a woman could please herself using only/mainly an armpit?

It's for a good cause. You could be inventing someone's fetish before it's even done, and become a revolutionary in the world of armpit sex. That's something to tell the grand kids in the future, innit?

24 comments:

  1. First of all, I hope you got something to eat. Secondly, my first reaction (and I was eating when I read it) was to spit my food out while saying what aloud. Ummm...honestly, I am not a prude by any means, but that would be an instance where if I said yes, it would not be over fast enough and things wouldn't be the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm just sorry you were eating while this went down.. But that reaction was pretty awesome. It's honest, so I thank you!

      Annnnd sorry about the food. :)

      Delete
    2. It's ok. I work in an operating room. I am used to messes :)

      Delete
    3. That's good, we're lucky here then! I should probably put a warning up at the top. Way too lazy though.

      Also yes, I munched. Forgot to say that earlier.

      Delete
  2. No...screw the warning. You get a more honest reaction I think.

    Very glad you ate. If it helps I got just as hungry the other day when I wrote the post!

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    Replies
    1. You're right. I'll continue being lazy. And yeah, I can imagine that happening with your posts. I'm glad i don't have a food blog.

      Delete
  3. Holy shit! I was not expecting that at all. AT ALL. The thing is, I get to know my partners pretty well before we reach the six month period. So, okay, I will pretend that he has told me he has this fetish from the beginning, and didn't ask to practice this on me until much later. I would do it. Your sexuality should be explored. It's okay to try non-traditional things. Hell, I have fetishes. I could do without them, if it made my partner uncomfortable, but if he was curious, great!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well catching you off guard is part of the purpose.

      But yes. Decently open to anything with the background of curiosity and basic exploration? I'd say your answer is healthy. Awesome.

      Delete
  4. if a woman i am really into wants to, or indeed needs to , i wouldnt have a problem as long as they got off on it.

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    1. I still think it's much easier for a guy.

      Delete
  5. I like to put my dick between my girlfriends armpits every so often. I don't go till I cum, I just do it as a funny thing. (like when I try and stick it up her nose...) But my girlfriend likes the smell of my man pits so I often stick them in her face!

    But to answer your question as best I can: If a woman I was with wanted to grind on my pits till she came I'd let her if she let me grind away on her armpit! (What do you call a 69 but with mutual armpit screwing?)

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    1. I wonder if this is your imagination, or if you actually poke your penis in her pits and nose. And you know what, if it's true, congrats to you. You've found someone who gets you, good luck you guys!

      I'd call it a pittynine.

      Delete
  6. I've seen my fair share of fucked up things on the Internet, but I have never heard of armpit sex. And now thanks to Google, I know it's also known as "bag-piping" and "directing traffic." I have no idea what I'd say to that. I would just be at a complete loss for words.

    After I got over my shock... fuck that. Sticking your dick in a sweaty armpit when your lady's got something great downstairs is like digging through the trash can to find a meal with a fully stocked refrigerator sitting right next to it.

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome! Bag-piping, lol.

      While I have to agree, I also know that fetishes can be pretty strong. The case in which some people NEED to eat out of a trash can or else they starve I think is an interesting one.. I'd like to talk to someone with this fetish and do a more well-rounded post. I think the psychology behind the (piper?) would play a larger role than what I made it out to be.

      Delete
  7. This sounds really close to a Mississippi handbag.

    And I don't think so... this is one fetish I turn down.

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    Replies
    1. Close. Goes a bit further.

      Limit reached? You have to wonder where the line got drawn and just how over it the armpit fuckery goes.

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    2. I don't see it as a continuum, really.

      Delete
  8. Aww, Amanda! XD The things you must fill her little head with.

    o-o If he made me blue berry pancakes for breakfast first, I totally would *cough*not*cough*!

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  9. Depends, whether the armpit is hairy or not!

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    1. "or leave a senseless comment without really having read, I will tie you down and saw off your genitalia."

      Would you like to make an appointment?

      Delete
  10. That's kind of like people with foot fetish, except much more weird. That said, try it before you knock it =X

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  11. Replies
    1. Wasn't it?! Did you get to the part where I called you a worthless bag of venereal diseases and told you to eat your mothers shit? That was one of my favorite parts today.

      And if you're gonna copy and paste your posts, at least give the respective authors some credit. I hope your phallus excretes the same bullshit you spew.

      Delete
  12. I once had a girlfriend that really like sniffing and licking my armpit. I guess I didn't really think much of it at the time, maybe I was supposed to reciprocate by sticking my dick in hers?

    ReplyDelete

All comments welcome, positive, negative, short or long..
but if you so much as dare say "Nice post!" or leave a senseless comment without really having read, I will tie you down and saw off your genitalia.

Have a nice day!