A while ago I was having a chat with a lady friend. Let's call her Amanda. Now me and Amanda have known each other for so long that we can be pretty excessively open with our thoughts and opinions. It's a good thing, it means we're open enough to talk about things like when her mother was looking at genital piercings. I let her know that her dad might be getting one soon in order to satisfy his curious wife; and so on and so forth until we came to the following scenario.
Now, I came up with this while talking to a hetero female, so it applies to hetero/bi females and gay males. I'll give the lesbian and hetero male twist after I'm done with the original, so don't worry. You all apply.
You wake up. You're in the arms of prince charming, literally all you physically want in a guy. You smile, of course, because he's looking at your eyes so tenderly. The bed still smells of the amazing sex you had last night, and the comfort of his arms firm around you is the only thing keeping you from drifting to another moment. This is a guy you've been living with for 6 months without things completely falling apart, things are oddly better than you'd expect them to be, too, so you want this to work.
He leans forward, kisses your forehead, and with those tender and hesitant eyes he asks:
"Can I fuck your armpit?"
What the fuck do you say? How do you respond to this? Yes, that IS the question.
NOW, some things you should know that me and Amanda were already aware of:
There are such people who enjoy sticking their dicks in an armpit, and having the arm close on the phallus as they hump away. There are also people who who find armpits so arousing that the sight of them could make them masturbate vigorously until they inseminate it. Think of a money shot. Pit shot. Look this shit up, it's hilarious.
When "prince charming" asks for armpit sex, you don't know which of these two he wants. I want the initial reaction, be it yes, no, depends on my mood, or I'd have to have a talk with him first.
Amanda said it would be as bad as anal sex, so no. I've gotten a few opinions on this matter, asking around, and it really seems like the overall answer is a tie. This means your opinions count.
And for the rest of you with dickless partners out there, there is indeed a female-on-pit option. Unfortunately, I'm not sure a female could have sex with an armpit in more ways than grinding. I've yet to find proper female armpit fetish videos. If you have some, let me know.
Anyway, pretty much this whole thing gets inverted- there's the woman of your dreams and you wake up with her in your arms, puppy dog eyeing you right before she asks if she can grind your armpit until she has pleased herself.
What to fucking do.
Now, you could not answer, which is fine. There's no restrictions as to who reads this blog, and maybe you'll have a job in the future with a boss that has a thing against allowing your partner to fuck your armpit. You could post anonymously! But still I mean, who knows, there's a dozen of these excuses on why not to give your opinion.
For those of you with excuses, can you possibly imagine other ways a woman could please herself using only/mainly an armpit?
It's for a good cause. You could be inventing someone's fetish before it's even done, and become a revolutionary in the world of armpit sex. That's something to tell the grand kids in the future, innit?