Aftermath of a birthday party

It was a beautiful day at the park. Mary was just cutting up the birthday cake and giving it away to the other parents, leaving the slice with the big '5' for herself. Her twins aren't toddlers anymore; a smile runs through her face.

It's late though, nearly 6. Their father hasn't shown up yet and he was supposed to take them to the movies. The party starts to deflate and they're left waiting. The twins, hyper, running through the park by themselves, when their dad finally shows up in his pick-up and takes them away.

Mary waves and smiles, turning away to the mess she has to clean alone. She's cursing. Upset. Throwing the remaining bags of chips away in an attempt to speed the process. The night is approaching, after all.

It's not too long before she's done though. She starts walking away with her tinfoil wrapped cake before hearing scurried movements. Probably rats or something, she looked around and put a spring on her step as she hurried away. She's far from the park by now, making a turn at the church and coming to a halt.

There's a moment of pure humanity on her face. A bewildered curiosity. A silenced scream of a stare when you see and expect a cat, but know that in that dark corner, those red tinged eyes aren't feline.

But what could it be? The shade is overwhelming, it's low. If not for the eyes, the size and location would make her believe it really is a cat. A few, very cautious steps in the direction, she feels a grin form. The rugged forms of clothing. Is that a hood?

She steps back. It's too small to be a dwarf. Its grin is insincere.

She falls.

She doesn't know where, but she feels a sharp pain. It runs through her body and chills run down her spine as she strikes the ground. She sees the tiny being walk into the church, and she feels her ankles grabbed. Another sharp pain.

She looks down to her legs. The crimson on the sidewalk, the dark stain on her jeans, the rip on the stain of the denim, directly underneath her ankle, the knife at the end of the rip. Tiny hands tugging at her wound; pulling through the gates of the church. The pain so strong, she's crying but it can't stop. So many little hands now tugging at both her legs.

Her screams were many, as were her kicks, and hence as were the wounds on her skin. Tied down to the floor. Gashes on her arms, thighs, and her ankles. The gnomes, playfully flicking their knives on the bare tendons and cartilage.

They laugh as her tears dry. She turns paler, nearly a soft shade of baby blue. Shivering, trembling, flinching.

The church doors open. Her eyes widen, hope strikes her fasting heart. She opens her mouth, attempts to scream, but her lungs collapse.

The footsteps draw nearer, she closes her trusting eyelids as the gnomes around her run away. A set of old hands slowly reach out to her cheek. She whimpers as she realizes the minuscule feel. These aren't human hands.

A cage slams on the floor next to her, metallic clinging echos. She scrunches up her face as she feels the tip of a knife entering her ear canal. Silence, but she hears something. Softer than the crackle of paper.

She soon feels it. Something in her ear, walking around. Going deeper. And another. And another behind that one. Too weak to move, she feels dozens of insects enter her ear until they're so deep she can't feel them any more.

The gnomes stare at her. Smiling. Each drinking crimson from their goblets, and enjoying from a big plate of cake with a 5 on it.

   ---   ------------------------------------------   ---   

I was feeling that Halloween spirit recently. Does it show? This was inspired by a friend, it took some time and thought. Kinda.

Unless blogger ends up compromising my picture space (they did), the above poster should be official movie poster size (27"x40") and because of the use of a Creative Commons licensed photograph (thanks to mararie), the poster is legal to adapt, remake, or print out and enjoy under similar rules to hers. Just contact me somehow if you want it in original size, I don't bite strangers. Usually.

All other pictures used were taken by me at some point.

And yes Hollywood, I would love to write the remainder of this and turn it into a movie for a reasonable sum of cash. I do, in fact, have the rest of it pretty much planned out. It's just long and time consuming to write. You know how it is.


  1. I love it, D4! I just checked this blog yesterday, no lie! I even asked you on your other blog if you were going to write on here again soon. Maybe this is a sign that you're up for a movie producer to be contacting you?

    Great story! I'm a sucker for a good horror flick. I don't know if I've heard one about evil gnomes.

    1. I'd be pretty impressed with myself if a movie producer really did contact me. I took a while to post here because these last few months I've really been working at the other blog. Little SEO details that are paying off.

      I'm glad you like it!

    2. If he does, I want some credit because I feel like I'm partly responsible for the good luck..

    3. I'll put Elsie's Luck on my list of IOU's right now

  2. Hi, Nice post thanks for sharing. Would you please consider adding a link to my website on your page. Please email me back.



    1. Hi Randy. It's impossible to mail you back when you're not sending me mail. You must also realize that all of your websites are bullshit. Why would I use your email for anything other than to subscribe it to Viagra and std newsletters?

      Jump off a fucking cliff.

    2. I'll tell you, D4, this shitbag may be pretty bad at his 'job,' but some of these are getting better. Look at the e-mail we just got this very morning from 'Joyce.'


      Good day Bryan/Brandon,

      I am having fun reading your posts. The pictures you create on MS Paint are
      brilliant too.

      By the way, I would like to suggest an article that might interest your
      readers. Are you open to such discussion?



      Looks like THIS scammer did his homework. Take notes, Randy. It's a young man's game and you're falling behind the curve.

    3. I've heard of those emails before.. While getting them would be a checkpoint for my success, it'd also be the most annoying thing ever. Good luck with those.

  3. I don't know what Mary did to deserve this horrific gnome stabbing, but it served as great entertainment to me, so her torturous death was NOT in vain.

    I have some bad news for you. Are you ready? This is too good for Hollywood. It's too original, and genuinely creepy. Have you considered writing Saw part 10, instead? Maybe in this installment, the captured person needs to find a key that opens their jail cell. So they have to cut a gnome out of their own colon, but the kicker is that the key is inside the GNOME'S colon. But see, the gnome has a tiny knife, and it's really hungry, so it's a fight to the death. Also, there's a zombie lion. Maybe two zombie lions.

    1. I think it's the zombie lions that end up tying this together. How about you write the Saw 10, and just feature me in it as a gnome breeder?


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but if you so much as dare say "Nice post!" or leave a senseless comment without really having read, I will tie you down and saw off your genitalia.

Have a nice day!