Smart Spam

I've been meaning to do a spam post, because come on, there's a fuckload of it out there in the wild blogosphere. Just a couple of weeks ago I went ahead and checked the automatically spammed comments. Here's what I found:

Get on the actual fucking post and SEE this image with your EYES you lazy fuck
"I seldom write responses, so here's a long one"
I got to thinking how impressive it was. How in a week the page views are minuscule, but over the course of a year they really rack up. These programmed bullshit feeding cock suckers actually make a difference to the blog, and it pisses me off. I want the result at the end of the day to be hard work and dedication, not assholes advertising.

That's fine I say. If it happens to me, it's gotta happen to everyone else. At least they keep themselves hidden from me under spam. What's sad is, there's actually a few real comments hiding under there. Usually from anonymous Googlers with actual inquiries. It's now a duty to check the spam comments.

But that's fine. All the spam goes there. All of the spam, until I got one clever fucker who managed to undo Google's auto-spam wizardry.

Get on the actual fucking blog post and you might see this image, you steamy piece of dog shit
What a little bitch
It's not the first bit of spam I'd ever gotten, but it caught me off guard. Here I was just a little while ago thinking about the subject, and wham! Fucker number one asks about it.. in an attempt to spam itself.

I mean it's genius, disguise yourself by criticizing what you are. Just like humans. A hypocrite spam bot. I'm impressed.

I'm just glad I never got rid of comment moderation.

And on a similar note.

I just checked this blogs spam comments. It has real comments on it.

Actually, this picture isn't as important. If you've gotten this far, just, fuck you.
What the fuck, Blogger?


  1. So you inspired me to take a look at my spam folder and found a few comments from Anne - why she is going to spam is beyond me! And I found this little gem about an Epic Meal Time post: "You have made some really good points there. I checked on the net to learn more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this site. Feel free to visit my web page : retail "

    Because I typically make all kinds of points on those posts.

    I wonder if this comment that includes my spam comment copied and pasted will go to your spam folder...

    1. I get Bonjour Tristesse spammed a lot, no idea why. And those spammers are pretty much all like that, no originality.. 'cept for the one I just found up there.

      You're good, but I'm gonna go check my spam now anyway.

  2. Wow this post of yours about spam is really informative! Spam is an important topic! Please visit my blog about spam at: http//spamsucksandsodoesthissite.fake.com I think you'll enjoy it! Spam spam spam

  3. Last time I checked the spam section, we had a few spam comments... 3-4 tops. I laughed, congratulated Lord Google on actually catching them, and then went along on my way. That was about a year ago. I had forgotten about that section.

    Seeing this post inspired me to check my spam folder... holy shit, in the last 2 months, we've had 197 spam comments. By the end of the day we'll probably have over 200. That's practically soul crushing.

    Some of them are kinda clever, like the one that says, "Wow, both of our sites have pretty much the exact same page layout and design. Eerie, huh?" which might have gotten me if it wasn't followed by some dumbass link like 'CLEAN MY PC NOW 2012'

    1. They can even hide the link better. I'm surprised they only put the effort in the introduction.

  4. Damn, now I have to check mine too. I hate extra work and knowing it had real comments in there just pisses me off that much more! Thanks for the extra work, D4, don't you know I already gave myself extra work this week? ha ha ha!! BTW, you need to promote this blog more, it's golden!

    1. I'd promote it more if I wrote on it more. Since I don't do regular updates, I prefer to keep it a secret word-of-mouth gem.


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but if you so much as dare say "Nice post!" or leave a senseless comment without really having read, I will tie you down and saw off your genitalia.

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