6/17/12

Work it, bitch

I enjoy good service. No, seriously. I like to tip at least 20% if the service was good at a restaurant. I like to wish people a good day when they've answered my questions. I like being well attended at any local food place, and then telling other people they should check it out. Even if said food is somewhat shitty.

But this one time, not too long ago, I went to a better known sandwich shop. Let's call it Wubsay. Now, I like me a good Wubsay sandwich. It's not the best out there, but it's good for what it is. What sucked a big cheese encrusted cock was the guy attending me.

I'm in line, there's 2 guys ahead of me. I'm just there, waiting like any sane human would expect, when the sandwich maker asks me what I want. My neck snaps back towards him, and I see him asking the guy ahead of me what he wants in his sandwich.

"I must be hearing things."

But then he calls me again. Now I'm all for multi-tasking, but if you're going to attend me, fucking attend me. He gets the hint after I wait for him to put another Wub into the oven-microwave thing. He looks me in the eyes and asks me what I want. What I ordered doesn't matter, I've already forgotten. Let's say I ordered the extra cheesy sardine combo. He nods in acknowledgement, then deals with the heated Wub.

After he does all his chores with the heated Wub from the guy ahead of me, he comes back to me and asks me what I want. So far the service is pretty bad. His act of multi-tasking was really just a waste of time.

"But it's okay" I say "It's minimum wage, it's to be expected."


He prepares my sandwich up for me and asks what I'd like on it. I was waiting for this moment the whole time I was in line. I know exactly what I want and don't want. I start something like: I don't want lettuce or--

He looked like this-ish.
From here what happens is nothing too exciting. I get pissed off. I'm the customer, I'm always right. Don't correct me, you just listen to me and pull your saw-edged butt plug out of your anus, shit-stain.

I had a low temper that day. But I did nothing mean. I just said everything like I wanted to say it anyway. No lettuce, no jalapenos, everything else goes.

After a bit of thought, though, here's what I should have said:


Everything. Yes, even jalapenos.

Now take the jalapenos off. Now take the lettuce off. Now the tomatoes. Don't forget the banana peppers. Now the green peppers, please, I don't need them any more. Actually, I'm not hungry, I'm gonna go.

Next time some skid-mark comes at me with this shit, I'll have this ready. Be on your toes, Wubsay employees.

15 comments:

  1. First of all I agree with you 100%. Second of all, while yes, it is just a minimum wage job, its still a job and he is getting paid for his time there so shouldn't he be doing, the right way, what he is getting paid for? I get so irritated with co-workers (who make way more than minimum wage) who act like they come in here to work out of the kindness of their hearts. Which happens at least 1000 times a day. I guess they donate that check thing that they get every other week. If you are working, just get your fucking work done. I don't care if you screw around, just don't bitch about having to work, since that is really why you are at your place of work. Right?

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    1. Oh I agree. I figured it was a bit beside the point, but he was lucky to even have a job. There's such a thing as people who work the minimum and do a great job. Those people get promotions.

      I wanted to get this guy fired, but this was the only one I'd been to that DIDN'T have a complaint box/phone number. Instead I just looked at the camera. menacingly.

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  2. Haha I know exactly what you mean. I could never pull off the 'I'm not hungry' thing though, because the only time I ever go into that place is when I'm starving and there's no other choice.

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    1. Well, I was starving when I got there.. but the anger at the time was such that the food didn't go down well. Would've been better off.

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  3. I LOVE this! This is the type of post that is so ME. First off, I want to say that I have been the person in customer service. I used to be a hostess and a waitress. I was so terrible at being a waitress, they politely told me to go back to being a hostess. I just couldn't hang with the big dogs. It's not that I wasn't polite, I just wasn't fast enough.

    Anyway...my children are both in customer service too. I have stressed to them the importance of customer satisfaction. That if you don't make the customer happy - you have no customers and then no paychecks. It's that simple.

    I will not hesitate to call someone out when they are rude or simply ignorant. I can't help it. I have stared at people until they speak to me because they seemed to have forgotten common courtesy of "May I take your order" or telling me how much it costs. Drives me crazy!!

    On the flip side, I have sent emails to managers to let them know when I have received outstanding service too. I think an employee deserves to be recognized when they provide good service because it's that rare these days...

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    1. Slow service doesn't normally bother me if the server is polite and lets me know what's up.. But if there's big dogs running it, I can understand.

      That's the best advice you can give them!

      I don't. I'll refuse to tip, I'll talk with a manager, I'll prank them, but it's rare for me to call someone out. Then again, they always tell me how much something costs..

      Good service DOES deserve to be rewarded! I'm always grateful when someone exceeds expectations. I prefer telling managers personally though. Seeing the smile an employee gave to someone just seems better than words on a screen, in my opinion.

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  4. This is why I don't eat fast food anymore. I have one hell of a temper, and this won't fly with me, but their heads will after I am through with them. For their safety, and my sanity, I don't eat out anymore. Last time I ate at a restaurant, I asked the waitress if their desserts were gluten-free. The door had a giant sign that read: certified gluten-free restaurant. I thought I would make sure, though. She said they were. I ate a slice of something, and ended up in terrible pain. Called the restaurant and the chef got on the line to tell me their desserts are NOT gluten-free.

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    1. ... But did you get her fired? Her tears might sell for something good on ebay. 'Frustrated waitress tears'.

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    2. During college, my friends would go to McDonald's, and a friend of mine would always order the quarter pounder, but without cheese, because he's very, very allergic. Every single time they'd put the cheese on anyway, and he'd have to get his order fixed. Well, one time he returned it to them and said "this has cheese on it," and they just went in back and scraped it off. He pulled off his bun and saw strings of scraped cheese left behind. You should have seen the fire in his eyes. He talked to the manager and basically said, "I'm not an idiot. I have hands, and I'm capable of scraping off cheese if I don't WANT it, but it's not that I don't WANT it, it's that this will make me physically SICK if I eat it. ANY of it." And he got his entire meal (sans cheese, this time) free.

      No waitress tears either, unfortunately, but the girl that screwed up the order looked pretty horrified when she found out just how allergic he is.

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    3. It's upsetting that it only gets taken seriously after they know there's a threat, in those cases. They should get it right the first time, just in case.

      Wish I'd seen him myself though. Sounds like a powerful "FUCK YEAH!" moment.

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  5. minimum wage , minimum work. thats how i work my job lol

    Google+ Cheat Sheet

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    1. Maybe it's the fact that I don't know you, or maybe it's because you posted a link on your comment... or maybe it's because you didn't fucking read, but I do not like you.

      I wish you a very embarrassing receding hairline. You deserve it, trooper.

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  6. maybe he was having a bad day too. working in customer service sucks nuts. my brother works for wubsay and he wants out bad.

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    1. I don't deny the possibility. It doesn't mean he had to work like an imbecile for me, I was even trying to make his life easier.

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  7. As a previous Andwich Sartist, I am a pro at active listening for wub orders. I don't do it anymore, but I revel in the memories of the ybct frozen bacteria cultures.

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but if you so much as dare say "Nice post!" or leave a senseless comment without really having read, I will tie you down and saw off your genitalia.

Have a nice day!